Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
