Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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