My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm both gender and math confused
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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