True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
