I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
