why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She bit a glass in half.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
