We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
