I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
