She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
