Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
