Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Randomize
