so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Quick, to the slutcave!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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