He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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