come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
