i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
