On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
