Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
