remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize