Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
