And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize