really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
