it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
