im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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