I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
