I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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