Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
