its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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