so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
