dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What happened to fro yo and sex?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just forgot I was standing up.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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