We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize