a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize