Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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