No, drunk sperm still make babies.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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