i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
