Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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