I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's blow job season.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
