There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
