Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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