dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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