It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
