so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
3 2 1 whiskey
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize