I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
