No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
