i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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