Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
