i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
