I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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