saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
