Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
