The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize