i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
