There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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