I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
