I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
