I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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