he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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