Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
