everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
