well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
