seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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