yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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