I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
