Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
