I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
