Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Randomize
