dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
